Last night I had some great friends over to celebrate the birthdays of two people very dear to me. It was finally my chance to introduce the people I roll with with the other people I hang with. It was phenomenal having my HLAA crew meeting my gang of rambunctious rompers who don't fit in either the deaf or hearing worlds. Even parts of my volleyball scallywags made an appearance to prevent the house from burning down with all the flames from the candles ;-)
Yesterday's HLAA meeting was about "Hearing Loss and Relationships" - presented by the most poetic Shanna Groves and illustruous Melissa Frye. A topic similar to this was a hot workshop at the Nashville conference back in June - when you think about it, hearing loss forces everyone to either communicate better in a different way, or else you just give up and let things go bad. I struggled with relationships for many years because I truly never made communication a top priority. How could I? I never was taught how to communicate, how to connect with others, when I was basically in a world of my own. I was a loner all through high school - my social connection was church and volleyball, and those were both severely lacking. I never hung out with my team and I never connected in church, even though I kept going just to see if I eventually would.
For many years, I didn't accept myself for who I was - I had this negative perception about myself. There were a lot of things I got down on myself for, not just my hearing loss, and it wasn't until I overcame them that things got better, I started connecting with others and now I'm able to enjoy wonderful communication with just about everyone I meet. I don't know where or even when I really started developing a positive attitude - all I know is when I was catching myself being negative, not just to myself but also to others - and forcing myself to change it for the better, to look at things in a good way, talking about them in ever greater ways - people became willing to open up, to be patient, to meet me halfway on my needs. It's funny - I've got from high school loner to knowing so many people all over, and it's really all because of communication. I was playing by "hearing world" rules - be passive, don't inconvenience others, don't make eye contact, bluff your way out of situations, stuff like that. Now my rules are I'm gonna take charge of my needs to understand you, I'm going to look at you in the eye, I'm going to be polite when things aren't clear, and both sides are going to meet in the middle and understand where we're all coming from.
Okay, I think I've rambled on enough today. Time to get some cleanin' and gymmin' going. I'd better have time for a nap and work later..... :-)
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