Making a mark

Some discussion last night started firing neurons in my head. What is living life to the fullest? Is it doing everything on your "bucket list" before you kick the bucket? Is it being generally happy, content, fufilled? Or is it living life on the edge, teetering to the brink of extinction, never pausing for a breath before being off to the next big adventure?

I'm pretty satisfied with how far I've come since college - I take the view that every day just gets better and better. No time to rest on my laurels, there's plenty of more challenges and obstacles to take on. But I never did heavily seek out going hiking, or white water rafting, until I found people who wanted to enjoy that kind of stuff. My life goals were to go to Deaflympics for volleyball, visit a bunch of English-speaking countries, (and Japan. Definitely Japan!), see a space launch, maybe be IN a space launch ;-), invent something great for humankind, and otherwise generally be at peace with the world.

The reason why I'm living where I'm at is because of my job. If you had asked me about my identity 5 years ago, I would have answered somewhere along the lines of "I am my job." These days, I'm more and more coming to realize that jobs are temporary; no one was ever lying on their deathbed saying "I wish I worked more." My boss a couple of years ago started a philosophical activity - he filled up a fishbowl with marbles at home. Each Saturday, he takes out one to represent just how much time he has left and how precious the remaining marbles are. It's given him a perspective on how important his time with his family is, and how fragile life is.

I guess what I'm coming down to is -- I'm pretty sure I know what I want out of life. But how did I get so confident, know for sure that's what I want. THAT's what's confounding me. I'll need to reflect on that a little more, perhaps with a little introspective music. "Savin' Me" will do, as will some White Stripes.